


one day

by marvelthismarvelthat



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Family, mama may, talk of the afterlife
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 05:16:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12928278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelthismarvelthat/pseuds/marvelthismarvelthat
Summary: After being brought to space, May and Daisy find themselves thrown in an empty cell with little reason to hope that they'll ever get out. As Daisy begins to deteriorate, she brings herself to ask May a question.





	one day

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo this was meant to be posted on Friday before the premiere aired but then there was an fb live that distracted me and it sort of didn't get finished. In any case, that's why it doesn't reflect/reference anything that happened in the premiere. Enjoy!

May wasn’t sure how long they’d been in space anymore. There was really no way to tell time there. It wasn’t like they could see the sunrise.

And it wasn’t like they were allowed watches.

She and Daisy had been deemed _“dangerous”_ and tossed in a barren cell soon after the monolith had transported them all to space.

They hadn’t seen or heard from the team since. All they had was each other.

Well, each other and a window looking out to space, but the view had gotten old around the third time someone shoved a meager meal through a slot in the door.

Their meals were few and far in between—their captors only seemed to feed them once their hunger became unbearable. And when the food finally came, it was never enough for one person, let alone two.

And Daisy? Daisy had been sick long before the symptoms of starvation began setting in.

It’d started with a splitting migraine that had left Daisy squinting even in the dim lighting of their cell. Then the unrelenting nausea had set in, followed by fevers that refused to break and deep, whooping coughs that wouldn’t let her sleep.

May had been worried, but Daisy had brushed off her concern and adamantly insisted that it was just a flu-like side effect of being thrust into space without any warning—it wasn’t like they’d been vetted or trained for space like NASA astronauts were after all. So May had let it go, even if she could clearly see that Daisy felt like crap and was only feeling worse as time wore on.

Flu-like symptoms weren’t life threatening after all.

Then seven measly meals into their stay Daisy had started coughing up blood. Then her nose and ears began bleeding at random.

By the time bruises started marring Daisy’s arms and chest without any real cause, there wasn’t any doubt in May’s mind that Daisy was dying a slow, painful death. The exact reason was lost to her, but she figured it must have something to do with her powers and the giant space station they’d been trapped in for some time now.

She’d never quite understood the science behind Daisy’s powers, nor why they had such aggressive side-effects, but what she _did_ understand was how utterly incapable she was to stop whatever was slowly destroying Daisy’s body.

May couldn’t even get their captors to speak to her, let alone get them to bring Daisy anything resembling medical care. Which was why she’d ended up trying to force the door machinations for the millionth time, determined to break out and find Jemma, when Daisy woke from her fitful sleep. “May?”

The sound of Daisy’s voice May kneeling beside her on the cold metal floor in an instant. “I’m here.”

Daisy coughed weakly, turning away from May and pressing her forehead against the window. “Manage to beat the door open yet?”

The corners of May’s mouth quirked up at her dry tone. At least Daisy was still Daisy. Brave and sarcastic and protective. May knew she’d turned away to hide the blood that was surely staining her lips after coughing, not wanting worry her more than she already was. “It’s being stubborn.”

“Sounds familiar.”

May snorted and rolled her eyes, moving to sit with her back against the window.

In the weeks, if not months, of being stuck in this cell, this had become their spot—huddled together against the window, looking out to the dark abyss of space. Their cell had no furniture to speak of, so it was as good a spot as any, and Daisy seemed to enjoy the view, often falling asleep just as she was sitting now, leaning against the window with her forehead pressed against the glass.

“How do you feel?” May reached out, running her knuckles gently over Daisy’s shoulder. Part of her wondered what the point of asking was. Daisy never felt better, she only ever felt worse.

“Everything hurts. My lungs feel like they’re on fire.” Daisy shrugged half-heartedly and sighed. “The usual.”

May closed her eyes, swallowing the bile that rose in her throat. She wished she could take Daisy’s pain away. “I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault. S’my damn powers. They’re not meant for space.” Daisy’s voice left little room for argument, hoarse and weak as it was, but it didn’t help ease the weight on May’s heart.

She couldn’t just sit there and watch Daisy die without feeling like she’d somehow failed her.

May was even starting to wonder how long they had until Daisy got past the point of no return, until getting her back to Earth and providing her with medical care wouldn’t be enough.  Until there was no saving her, regardless of what they did.

She didn’t have the words to describe the heavy grief that settled over her heart at the possibility that that point might not be far off. Daisy deserved so much better than the cards that she’d been dealt, better than to die in a dirty, barren cell in space.

Daisy rolled over, curling against her shoulder with a heavy sigh, making May freeze before she took a deep breath and forced herself to relax.

Physical contact wasn’t something May was good at, or something she particularly enjoyed, even with people she loved dearly. Not since Bahrain. And even before that, comforting touches had been more Phil’s thing that hers. But she was all Daisy had now. If she couldn’t save her, she could at least make her feel a little less alone.

“Hey May?”

May hummed in reply, frowning at the heavy tone in Daisy’s voice.

“What do you think happens after we die?”

The question made May’s heart stop.  “Where is this coming from?”

“Last time we saw Robbie—“ Daisy broke off, coughing weakly and wiping at her mouth with her shirt sleeve. “He said something about ‘hell being relative’ or… I don’t know. It just sounded so hopeless and I just—I want to believe there’s something more out there. That I’m going to see them again, you know?”

May closed her eyes and grit her teeth. She wasn’t having this conversation, she _couldn’t._ Not now, not ever. She wasn’t ready to give up, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to start talking about heaven as if Daisy’s death was some sort of inevitability—no matter how futile it felt to continue hoping. “You’re not going to die, Daisy.”

Daisy chuckled disbelievingly. “I didn’t think you had it in you to be an optimist.” She paused, taking a shaky breath. “Please, May. I don’t know how much more—I’m just so tired.”

May sighed resignedly, letting her head drop so her cheek rested against Daisy’s hair. She didn’t know what Daisy was thinking, but if this was a conversation that Daisy needed to have, then they’d have it, no matter how much May _hated_ it or how much it hurt.

“I think there’s a heaven but I don’t think there’s a big pearly gate and angels walking around with halos on their heads. And I don’t think it’s just a paradise.” May swallowed as she listened for the sound of Daisy’s uneven, rattling breaths. The sound that meant Daisy was still with her. “I think what heaven is depends on you, on whatever _you_ need to be at peace.”

Daisy sniffled and shifted closer, her weight settling more heavily against May’s shoulder.  “I didn’t know you were religious.”

May scoffed. “I’m not. Never have been. But after all the crap we’ve been through, there has to be something better waiting for us.” She wasn’t sure that what she was saying was helping or that it lined up with what Daisy believed, but she knew Daisy wouldn’t care. That she’d just be content with May having shared this with her. “I just didn’t know what I thought about death, not until recently.”

“What changed?”

The inquisitive tone in Daisy’s voice almost made May smile. Trust Daisy to not let sleeping dogs lie once the door was opened. “While you were gone I got sick. Really sick. And I died.”

Daisy inhaled sharply, her hand seeking May’s and gripping it tightly, but she didn’t speak.

“Technically Jemma killed me to save me, but something went wrong. I was dead for longer than I was meant to be.” May paused as Daisy coughed, taking a second to mull over what she’d seen. The moments after her heart stopped were jumbled and confusing, but what she remembered clearly replayed in her mind often. “I didn’t see a white light, I just woke up elsewhere. I saw Phil there.”

“Wait, wh--Coulson’s not dead. How could he be there?” Daisy’s breath hitched, unsettled by May’s revelation.

“I don’t know. But he was.” May shook her head and sighed. “I-I wasn’t there for long, Daisy. There was more, but I can’t remember. I just know everything felt… okay, despite me being dead and leaving you all behind. Then Coulson—well, he told me to go back. That I was still needed. And then I woke up strapped to a bed with Jemma holding a defibrillator over me.”

Daisy sniffled again, her hand coming up to rub at her eyes. “You think heaven is wishful thinking, then?”

May rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated breath. “No. I think—“ She cut off, silently cursing her inability to explain herself. Sometimes she found herself wishing that words were something she was good at. “I think that whatever higher power is out there cares enough to let us have the people we love, even if their time hasn’t come. Phil is—he means a lot to me. I needed him there.” She took a deep breath, picking at loose thread on her shirt. “So I think… if what you need to be at peace is Lincoln and Trip, and whoever else you’ve lost, then they’ll be there for you. They both loved you.”

Daisy was silent after that, her silence feeling as vast as the darkness sitting outside their window, but May could almost hear the gears turning in her brain as she processed what she had said. May wished that she knew what she was thinking, wished she could make everything okay so this conversation wasn’t necessary. But she couldn’t. Nothing about the situation they were in was okay. The very fact that Daisy hadn't jumped at the opportunity to talk about her and Coulson’s relationship proved that.

Just as May was beginning to think Daisy had dozed off, the girl choked back a sob. “Do you think I’ll get to see you guys? Watch over you?”

Not for the first time recently, May found her eyes stinging with unshed tears. Daisy sounded so defeated, so tired. In that moment, it felt like the point of no return had been reached. Daisy was ready to give up.

“After you first joined the team—you remember Hannah? The one who thought god was punishing her?” May paused, waiting for Daisy to nod against her shoulder. “You told her that you didn’t really believe in God, but that one of the nuns at the orphanage used to say that ‘God is love’ and that stuck with you. That it was the version you liked—that God was love, the thing that keeps us together.”

It sometimes startled her, how clearly she remembered that moment. How she’d listened in to Daisy’s conversation with Hannah while she hiding behind the corner. It wasn’t hard for her to understand why that moment stood out among all others in those first few months Daisy was with them—it’d been the first time she’d seen Daisy as anything other than a wild card, the first time she’d seen her for who she really was.

“May?”

Realizing she’d trailed off, she shook herself. “I don't know if I believe in God, but I figure if there's a heaven, then somebody's behind it. And if God is love, then they’d never tear you away from the people you love.” Shifting slightly, she wrapped an arm around Daisy’s shoulders, bringing the girl in closer so her head was resting in the crook of May’s neck. “But you can’t just be thinking about that, okay? You have to keep fighting for as long as you can, because we need you, Daisy. We don’t need you to watch over us from somewhere else, we need you to stay alive, here, with us.”

Daisy shivered and took a few labored breaths to compose herself.  “I’m just so tired of fighting, May. I… everything just hurts. I just want it to stop. I can feel the vibrations just—they _never_ stop and I can’t make them quiet.” She sighed, her hand coming up to grip at May’s shirt. “I-I guess it’s fitting. Dying in space. Where Lincoln sacrificed himself for me. Maybe I was always meant to die here.”

May worked her jaw as Daisy’s tears begin soaking her shirt. “Daisy, you don’t deserve to die beca-“

“I don’t think I deserve to die, not anymore. I’m… I’m scared of it. Scared of leaving you. Leaving the team. I’m just saying, maybe it’s just fate.“ Daisy lifted a shoulder dejectedly and rubbed at her eyes again. “When you get out of here, can you—can you tell the team I love them?”

Pulling away slightly, May placed a hand under Daisy’s chin so she could meet the girl’s eyes. “I don’t have to tell them, because they already know.” She pressed a kiss to Daisy’s hair. “Besides, you’re not dying. I won’t let you.”

Daisy let out a wet laugh, but didn’t reply, instead choosing to let her head drop back to May’s shoulder and curl further into her.

May really wished there was something she could do to quiet the vibrations Daisy was hearing constantly, or just to soothe the pain they were causing. Jemma would know what to do if she were there with them, but she wasn’t. So May made due by bringing a hand up to gently massage Daisy’s temple—an attempt to soothe the migraine that she knew hadn’t left Daisy alone in what felt like weeks.  

Daisy shifted, blinking slowly and sighing in relief as some of the tension in her head abated. “Permission to go to sleep?” She joked tiredly.

“Permission granted.” May smiled softly, letting her fingers move to massage the rest of Daisy’s scalp, carefully avoiding catching any tangles in her hair.

It didn’t take long for Daisy’s breathing to slow into a sleepy rhythm, her body becoming still save for the rise and fall of her chest, and an occasional cough.

Once sure that Daisy was out for the count, May drew in a shaky breath and allowed some tears to fall. She felt like her heart had been torn in two for the millionth time in her life. She hated thinking of a world that Daisy wasn’t a part of. Just imagining the possibility made her feel like the anxiety would swallow her whole. May didn’t just not want to lose Daisy; she didn’t know if she could live without her.

Against her better judgement, Daisy had wormed her way into May’s heart and cemented her presence there. These days… well, she felt more like a daughter than a friend or teammate or even a protégé. May’d never known what to do with that feeling, that love that she felt for her, but she did know that outliving Daisy had always felt out of the question. Until now, when the possibility that Daisy wouldn’t live to stand on Earth’s surface again felt so very real.

She’d do anything if it meant Daisy could live. But that wasn’t how it worked. She couldn’t give her life for Daisy when the enemy was something she couldn’t fight.  

Pressing her nose against Daisy’s hair, she breathed her in, reassuring herself that Daisy was still there. “You don’t get to die and leave me alone here. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

The second the words left her mouth the sounds of a commotion occurring outside their cell began to make themselves known. It was the most they’d heard happening outside their door since their imprisonment began. It took her a second but as the realization dawned on her, she smirked. The crashing, banging, and yells could only mean one thing: their team had finally come for them.

 _“_ _¡_ _Oye!_ _¡_ _Creo que están en esta celda!”_

The sound of Elena’s voice had May huffing a laugh, her body flooding with relief. “I told you you weren’t going to die.” She kissed the top of Daisy’s head, smiling at the incoherent mumble she got in return. “You'll see them again one day, but that day is not today."

**Author's Note:**

> Drop by the comments and let me know what you thought! I guarantee you'll make my day. 
> 
> If you have any prompts, you can find me over on marvelthismarvelthat.tumblr.com :)


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